my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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