Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize