So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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