a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize