You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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