Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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