I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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