Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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