tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize