There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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