you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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