have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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