I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
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Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
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I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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