you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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