I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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