i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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