We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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