I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There are leaves in my underwear?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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