can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we made out on top of his cat.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dick very happy bro
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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