One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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