drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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