Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Even my vagina gasped.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize