you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize