I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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