If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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