her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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