just tell him i said nine months
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize