I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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