fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize