I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize