too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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