Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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