how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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