Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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