I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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