you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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