she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
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I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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