Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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