Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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