ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
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We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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