one two three fourrrrnication!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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