put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
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Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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