I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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