So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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