I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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