why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
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all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
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She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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