12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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