I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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