she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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