By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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